Flash news - 40% - 40%

(Think in the news show music like ta tata tataaaaaaaaaaaan, and the morse code indicating that a very important piece of news had arrived)


Hi all Tiempo fans!! (which means ventiladores de minutos in case you don’t know)

I’ve read yesterday a graffiti that said “Alcohol is not the response for all your problems, but neither is milk”. Let’s analyze this in a detailed manner. Not today. Today Tiempo is going to announce that he bought 43,5% of the world. Yes, your leg, your brother’s house, your cousin’s dog and your mother in-law fridge is now Tiempo’s. He and God signed a contract in Isla de Pascua, leveraging that both were on vacations. From time to time Tiempo does this kind of things, like buying half a civilization. Two years ago he bought some other guys in Mars. But then he sold them because they were not as good cooks as he thought. Lucky us.

Tiempo’s tour around the world has taken him to Japan. Now he’s learning martial arts and kidnapped 53 geishas for cooking. Not that cooking, dirty mind. He’s going to start his own asado franchise called “Lo de Tiempo” which is going to sell the best choripanes in Earth. He’s still thinking about the franchise name, but some candidate names are “Tiempo El Poderoso Asador”, “Tiempo El Poderoso Choripan”, “El Poderoso Tiempo de Choripan”, “Choripan El Poderoso Tiempo”, “Tu Choripan a Tiempo con Tiempo en el Poderoso Asador” and the best candidate “Poderoso Choripan busca a Tiempo su Tiempo para Tiempo”, which in japanese is translated as “Ki”, which is going to save a lot of Money in banners. His marketing agency was given clear instructions about how powerful the name must sound. I think they took it too literal. I don’t care, I just write.

Last piece of news is that Tiempo adopted finally Fidel, his salchicha Cuban dog, and he’s baptizing him as Puro, the all mighty dog from all mighty Tiempo, which is, just as a comparison, like having a power adapter for Darth Vader’s laser sable. Obi Wan is cool, I know it too baby.

For concluding this flash report, Tiempo wants you all to continue changing the name of the streets as Tiempo’s relatives and friends. It’s ok if your city has 36700 streets and you have 18 names. You manage. If Tiempo goes there to a street that he doesn’t know, I know you’d wish never to be live again and resist Tiempo’s bad breath, or his sister “Quarter of Pound” which is a pain in the ass. He likes to feel home wherever he goes, if he doesn’t you’re dead. You manage it. Golden retriever.

Ok, that’s it for now. Let’s see how this week Tiempo’s plan to conquer the world is going. Weekly meetings are Thursdays at 16h30 PST, web ex 1-800-TIEMPO-IS-MY-LORD – www.tiempoownsme.com

The Tiempo News Team
El Nuevo Equipo Puntual

PS: I’m sorry this TdT report is so serious, but from time to time it’s ok to be so. I don’t care. I was obligated to put this with a 44 in my forehead and 43 sumo wrestlers called Nakito in front me with the rare tongue.

PS2: Nice and cheap. www.sony.com US$299